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How to Talk to People in 10 Easy Steps

How to Talk to People in 10 Easy Steps

Something a lot of you probably don’t know about me is that I was homeschooled for the majority of my life. This made going to college classes on campus kind of scary at first. Not only was I not used to classroom style learning, but I also had a problem with having a bunch of classmates I didn’t know.

I had no idea how to talk to them.

I’m not kidding. I could barely get out a hello to the girl sitting next to me in class at first. If I did manage one it was probably inaudible.

Over time I decided that enough was enough and that I was going to learn how to communicate. I figure I’m not alone in this so I’ve rounded up 10 steps to help you start talking to people.

1.) Have an excuse.

Talking to people is great, but believe me, you’re going to scare me half to death if you hit me out of nowhere with a conversation (if I don’t know you).

“Do I know you? How do you know me? What’s going on? Are you flirting with me or just being friendly? Or do you need something? I don’t knowwwwwww.”
-Basically what runs through my head then.

It’s a lot less terrifying if you have a viable reason to be talking. Like if you’re in the store shopping for the same product or in the same class. Have a reason to be talking.

2.) Introduce yourself.

There’s no easier way to start a conversation if you’re awkward and uncomfortable (like me) than by just saying, “Hi, my name is _____.”

3.) Find common ground.

This is pretty similar to my first tip, but you need to find some common ground to keep a conversation going. What can you both successfully talk about for at least three minutes? Trying our examples from the first tip, what if you start talking about similar products that you’ve used and share your opinion? If you’re in the same class, talk about the homework–ask questions, compare notes, all that good stuff.

4.) Ask open ended questions.

One of the most important rules for interviewing someone is to ask open ended questions. By this I mean questions that need more than a yes or no answer.

By asking open ended questions, you propel the conversation forward with whatever topic you’ve chosen to discuss. With a yes or no answer, you’re stuck fumbling around for the next good thing to say.

5.) Make eye contact.

It shows that you’re listening and that you care. Just maybe don’t do it like Scott McCall.

6.) Smile.

Show you’re listening. Show you care.

What can I say? I guess this post has a theme.

7.) Don’t intrude.

Don’t butt into any conversations or invade someone’s space. That’s just rude. Keep it polite and don’t pry into anything you shouldn’t pry into. I’m pretty sure that’s common knowledge, but it’s always a little bit awkward when someone does this.

8.) Be confident.

You’re allowed to be there and you are not an annoyance. Remember that. People talk to people they don’t know all the time and it’s fine. What makes you any different from them? Go get ’em.

9.) Know what annoys you.

You know what bothers you about people talking to you, right? Avoid those things. The whole “Do unto others” thing really comes in here. If you know it could be annoying, you might want to avoid that. At least for an introductory conversation.

10.) Be yourself.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: BE YOURSELF. Seriously, this is the most important thing to remember. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. That will only come back to bite you in the end. Let people make friends with you and not some super-enhanced-unrealistic version of you.

Talking to people really isn’t as hard as it looks. It takes some time to get used to, but remember that you don’t meet new people without talking. It’s a part of every day life and it’s not going to hurt you.

What was the hardest thing for you to adjust to at school/college/university? Let me know in the comments below!

Note: This article is in no way meant to exclude or tell people with social anxiety disorders or anything similar to get over it. I’m sharing what has helped me talk to others. If I have said anything offensive in this post, just let me know.

6 Comments


  1. // Reply

    Getting lost a lot was my biggest issue, and that really made it essential to meet people. It also gave me the perfect excuse for tapping someone on the shoulder and asking, “Where is this classroom?”


  2. // Reply

    Getting lost a lot was my biggest issue, and that really made it essential to meet people. It also gave me the perfect excuse for tapping someone on the shoulder and asking, “Where is this classroom?”


  3. // Reply

    I was homeschooled too and went to a smaller junior college first before heading off to my university, mostly to save money for a year and get used to the classroom feel. Hardest thing? Talking to people and convincing myself to go to club meetings by myself without someone I know to hide behind. Because then I might have to talk to people. lol!!


  4. // Reply

    I was homeschooled too and went to a smaller junior college first before heading off to my university, mostly to save money for a year and get used to the classroom feel. Hardest thing? Talking to people and convincing myself to go to club meetings by myself without someone I know to hide behind. Because then I might have to talk to people. lol!!


  5. // Reply

    I actually recently switched schools last minute [in the fist week of my time there] and had to adjust to a whole new set of people, but I was lucky, I found a lot of girls who had a lot in common with me and were all really lovely, I think one of the most important things is to not over analyse what you say, of course think before you speak, but don’t hesitate too much, sometimes whole conversation can come from one random passing remark


  6. // Reply

    I actually recently switched schools last minute [in the fist week of my time there] and had to adjust to a whole new set of people, but I was lucky, I found a lot of girls who had a lot in common with me and were all really lovely, I think one of the most important things is to not over analyse what you say, of course think before you speak, but don’t hesitate too much, sometimes whole conversation can come from one random passing remark

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